LOOKING THROUGH ISSUE001, DURRELL'S ALEXANDRIA

IN THE GOLDEN LIGHT OF THOSE SUNDAYS THEY LIVE ON, BRIGHT STILL WITH THE COLOURS THAT MEMORY GIVES TO THOSE WHO ENRICH OUR LIVES BY TEARS OR BY LAUGHTER – UNAWARE THEMSELVES THAT THEY HAVE GIVEN US ANYTHING. THE REALLY HORRIBLE THING IS THAT THE COMPULSIVE PASSION WHICH JUSTINE LIT IN ME WAS QUITE AS VALUABLE AS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ‘REAL’; MELISSAS GIFT WAS NO LESS AN ENIGMA – WHAT COULD SHE HAVE OFFERED ME, IN TRUTH, THIS PALE WAIF OF THE ALEXANDRIAN LITTORAL? WAS CLEA ENRICHED OR BEGGARED BY HER RELATIONS WITH JUSTINE? ENRICHED – IMMEASURABLY ENRICHED, I SHOULD SAY. ARE WE THEN NOURISHED ONLY BY FICTIONS, BY LIES? I RECALL THE WORDS BALTHAZAR WROTE DOWN SOMEWHERE IN HIS TALL GRAMMARIANS HANDWRITING: ‘WE LIVE BY SELECTED FICTIONS’ ALSO: ‘EVERYTHING IS TRUE OF EVERYBODY..’ WERE THESE WORDS OF PURSEWARDENS QUARRIED FROM HIS OWN EXPERIENCE OF MEN & WOMEN, OR SIMPLY FROM A CAREFUL OBSERVATION OF US, OUR BEHAVIORS & THEIR RESULT? I DONT KNOW. A PASSAGE COMES TO MIND FROM A NOVEL IN WHICH PURSEWARDEN SPEAKS ABOUT THE ROLE OF THE ARTIST IN LIFE. HE SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THIS: ‘AWARE OF EVERY DISCORD, OF EVERY CALAMITY IN THE NATURE OF MAN HIMSELF, HE CAN DO NOTHING TO WARN HIS FRIENDS, TO POINT, TO CRY OUT IN TIME & TRY TO SAVE THEM. IT WOULD BE USELESS. FOR THEY ARE DELIBERATE FACTORS OF THEIR OWN UNHAPPINESS. ALL THE ARTIST CAN SAY AS AN IMPERATIVE IS: ‘REFLECT & WEEP'.



ALEXANDRIA QUARTET / LAWRENCE DURRELL







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